The air and the atmosphere, the aspect of the villages were in a form of unfamiliarity. Even the mosquitoes were hyperactive. We could still somehow understand the basic of their native language which is Malay, though the form have some difference compared to Singapore. So we could had ourselves the tremendously sweetening coffee served by the morning stall at sight.

Except for Stev, our fellowmen and our driver of this morning trip was taking his rest in the car. The weariness and restlessness through the 4hours journey was intolerable for him, or could have been for us as well. We pass through almost 300km and 80% of dark sighted roads were led by the GPS. We couldn’t focus on our rests as passengers because of the windings and sudden decelerates causes by the wild boar and raccoon we’d met on our way. Extreme anxiety caught me a little worried then.

We had reached Pekan early due to speeding. Ed, our organizer arranged the meeting with the skipper and brought us to a place for breakfast. Slowly after the sun had blotted out from the clouds spreading light through the streets, i realized that the place was magnetized. Beauty takes its time to appeared in sight. Not by the tall buildings nor the short skirts and bikinis. But the extraordinary lives of theirs and simplicity style they had lived for decades, seemed displeasing. Pretty much resentful seeing that their life is rather simple.

The villages are known as Lepak, culturally. They just sat around or own a stall, or reading what their eyes have seen. Chatting around or singing with guitars while they lazed and make themselves in comfort, or some might own a boat for fishing. There are not much of entertainment outlets. No Bar, no cinema. Nevertheless, it’s a good place for relaxing.

Sungai Pahang, the longest river in Peninsular Malaysia, ends at Pekan. We are finally ready for boarding after being led to a nearby shore. On the boat while traversing, we were preparing our gears through. Ed had taught me how to tie a jig because it was my first try on jigging. The boatman gave us a tip on how to attract the species using a jig, which is how to let your jig perform in alluring and pleasing looks. Whether it is the color of your jig or our gesticulations on the rods, just think of how to make your jigs looks attractive.. Said the boatman.

It was the first time to feel how a fish takes my jig. The idea of jigging is, the jig will have to dwell all the way to reach the seabed, whether by casting or dropping onboard. The weight of the jig must also be suitable for the current and streams in order to flow proportionately. When the moment you feel the metal jig has knock onto the ground, one must immediately reel up and slowly create a momentum from the bottom to the surface. So when the predators around the deep, intermediate or surface water being noticed, they will hound.

I tried every method, every ugly movement of myself to make my jig dance. And even knowing you are expecting the fish, when hit, the feeling of it is like someone snatches away your stuff out of your hand and you are very angry to want it back. That’s how the word “fight the fish” comes around, perhaps.

We had the chill box overfilled with fishes. the catch was really awesome, really tiring though, sunburns and thirst, but we had a great time and gain much experience. We’d called it a day early because our icebox can’t take up anymore. I like this trip, i like fishing with the people and i like the place. I will be back… I’d told myself as the sight of Pekan slowly fades away down the road back home.

I am not a perfect person and certainly the planet is so huge that there are still many places or insects that I haven’t yet seen or encountered. So I might not be the one who can say or judge about one’s circumstances. But sometimes I was really trying to help by saying some positive things that I knew but I will only taste the attitude like; “you are not in my shoes so you know nothing about these..” That’s the most excruciating statement which I am so used to hear from this kind. So from there I’d always thought to myself, “Come on, it’s not the end of the world… What’s the worst that could happen?”Nature always takes her time. I mean mostly time will heal and grow. Diamonds aren’t formed in a week and everything of value, of beauty, of majesty in the universe took time to become so. In the real world there are very few instant, overnight successes. It takes times to build a business of value or to create financial independence.

So it will be with our growth and development. We need to keep a balance as does the rest of nature. Need to rest and recuperate, as do all other living things. Let’s be gentler on ourselves when assessing our own progress and recognise how the way things work. It takes time to build confidence and a healthy body, or a positive outlook. There will always be easy times and there will be hard times. We can learn from this approach. We need to take out time to rest, to review, to ponder and to be.

If you decide that you are indispensable and that you must always have your nose on a grindstone, then you can live your life like that. Your belief that you can never rest will be your reality until such time as you decide differently. When we do make rest a part of our lifestyle, we become so much more productive when we work. But things will get better like they always do. The trouble is that too many people give up and go home too early.

The tide will always turn, as there will be changes on their perspectives when the right time comes.

If we poke our fingers into a light socket we become particularly aware of electricity. We may not see it but there is a strong evidence to suggest its existence. Magnetism is a similar story in that we accept it although we don’t see it.  Principles which are invisible help to shape our lives.The remarkable thing that many people believe that everything in the universe is governed by the law except when it comes to their own lives and their own success or lack of it, and then they talk to fate, chance or misfortune. Well, you are part of the universe and your life is governed by law as absolutely as the moon and the stars and the weeds in your front garden. And you are the cause of what happens in your life. You are cause by your own thoughts.

Reality is actually created by the mind. We can change our reality by changing our minds. May sounds true but there will always be those people who say, nothing works, nothing matters, nothing makes any difference and life stinks! They might have perspectives of not knowing the reasons why things won’t work just because they’ve never tried it. With an open mind to possibility, there may be things about the universe that one haven’t fully figured out yet. As a child you probably once thought that the earth was flat. When you recieved more information on the subject you may have been prepared to change your ideas.

We should embrace the concepts herein, not just believing anything just because it’s written or seen and rather make our own assessment. For a man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.

Mum saw me so in loved with pencils and papers, so one day she bought me a proper drawing block, and a STAEDTLER MARS 2B pencil. That day onwards i guessed i had finally being able to perform better strokes and shades.I was in the standard of primary two then, missing lessons given by teachers. Impairing i heard all the boring speeches while doing my own sketches. One morning a mathematics teacher confiscated my completed picture of a sea monster and had nailed it on the notice board after the lesson, which many boys had got impressed with. I was then having the feeling of elation and pleasures. The remarks from there had made myself pay due with what i was doing since, till this very day.

For umpteen years i had never knew what i did had became what i used to do now that makes many people thinks i am possessed with this usual talent. I still don’t really feel like i am competent to that talent word even till this present moment. Someone had asked me am i from NAFA school in singapore (Nayang Academy Fine Arts) and my answer is definitely no. Well i am not sure why not. And as for that you might want to ask the saints. Because they gifted me.

I draw when feeling like, not insisting but absorption to the interests. I see shadows between the clouds on the sky and formed them into a figure which only i could describe. Waves and tones on the walls i illustrates as portraitures. It may sounds exaggerating and supernatural, but it just struck me like this. I am deeply in love drawing characters and expressions of human faces. Grin or grimace, i have this eagerness to shade them alive.

In this world, there are numerous of artistes. Plentiful of beautiful pictures and paintings, and mine are not worthy of. But at least there are people in my world that recognize me as part of them, or perhaps imminently. As i don’t have to be well-known or popular and my showcase can be indispensable, but the daub and shades must not become obsolete.

South China Sea has its unusual monsoon weather patterns of reversing summer and winter rains and winds. The northeast monsoon between December and February and the southwest monsoon between June and August change the surface water circulation pattern with predictable regularity.

The resources of the South China Sea, living and non-living, are rapidly being exploited by the people of the region, who are heavily concentrated along the coastline. Overfishing or a declining average annual fish catch now threatens the extensive fishing industry. Many fishermen are forced to resort to more efficient and aggressive techniques, and to venture further out to new fishing grounds. Some desperate ones use illegal methods such as blast fishing and cyanide poisoning. Fish and coral habitats are also degraded by increased sedimentation, especially from land development. Coral reefs have been ravaged to provide building materials and plundered for ornamental commodities.

Remembering i saw a dolphin on the surface of the open sea. For the first time at such close distance to me, i couldn’t have enough time to capture it with my camera and so i stood there indistinctly watching it slowly dived apart from my vision. A few minutes later at about 10 meters away it splashed up from the water and dance above the waves for 2 secs . For several times we were all entertained by its performance. Man, beauty.

A 19kg marbled ray-(Taeniura meyeni) was the biggest catch. Red snapper-(Lutjanus campechanus) is the kind we were hunting. The red snapper commonly inhabits waters from 30 to 200 ft (10 to 60 m), but can be caught as deep as 300 ft (100 m) or more on occasion. They stay relatively close to the bottom, and inhabit rocky bottom, ledges, ridges, and artificial reefs, including offshore oil rigs and shipwrecks. We were all over the surfaces of all these spots, and when one of us landed one, someone beside u will land another, and that goes on till the atmosphere is calm down. Common but exquisitely delightful, i had caught one about 2-3kg. Plus a few huge cobias.-(Rachycentron canadum)

After a 2 days and 2 nights of fishing and restlessness, i can finally understand the moral environmental and bodies of that continent. Not seeing all of it, i know that i will be back on that surface with a line hunting for more different and huge species.

Right now, i suddenly have got a plan. Reflecting on those days assailed me the urge and fondness of this fishing trip. So i am going back there pretty soon. And soon enough, i will be coming home with more understandings and pictures of the deep, and legendary South China Sea.

I organized this charter again for another offshore fishing after a few months due to its booking has been filled. And so i chose a fine date for this occasion and gathered the fellowmen to participate. Drifting on the waters of west coast, swept around the island of Jurong, a man-made hive that later became the world’s busiest container port.

Jurong island is located to the southwest of the main island of Singapore, off Jurong Industrial Estate. It was formed from the amalgamation of several offshore islands, chiefly the seven main islands of Pulau Ayer Chawan, Pulau Ayer Merbau, Pulau Merlimau, Pulau Pesek, Pulau Pesek Kecil, Pulau Sakra and Pulau Seraya. This was done through land reclamation. It is located at the crossroads of the world’s major shipping routes, and that’s why there were several shipwrecks around the coast. So apparently shipwrecks are normally the playground for underwater species, which also attracts fishes into them.

Fishing on the coast of Jurong island is prohibited. And even then it is not allowed to take photographs or videos of Jurong Island. So actually the charter will shift about whenever there’s a sign of vessel or boat coming towards while alerts under-by the binocular of a watchmen, aka the helper on board. It was pretty exciting and fun then.

I love drift-fishing so much because it’s most likely a luring and finding fish method. Unlike anchors and stills, normally you wait or spot it. Ultimately the nip, they lasts. I strongly prefer exploring through the seabed of the deep, that it will somehow surprise me in the very moment i strike a tough nibble. Allow me to share, that it could be monstrous. And technically, it is advanced in progress.

The rare local species that we had landed are in the shape and sizes that hardly seen in Singapore waters nowadays. The two most remarkable Red grouper-(Epinephelus morio) had caught me a bit off guard then. Then followed by the 7.5kg snapper that wowed everyone. So i will say that this trip is a lesson to learn that fishes swims around and they can be anywhere just by chance. Even then it could be on your hook just by a matter of wits. dscf0214.jpg

Which i think it’s rather true to tell from Glen’s condition and i strongly believed it was out of frustration and depression as well. If she is feeling miserable today and since, i will feel sympathized for this undue circumstances. But when i met her after the visit i asked her; “why like this?” Evening at the hospital while she was eating Mac Donald’s she replied; ” like that lo… hot water lo…” Then i was like what the??… So forget it. Just for the better ways to win the case i will tolerate her arrogance first. Even her younger sister admits Kelly is mentally disordered and which i think is suffering from Munchausen’s syndrome.

That now her own blood is flowing through the tubes and smudges the bandage. Monitored by the heartbeat asset, and draining from the tubes through his nostril into his digest system, Glen now is still under the feeding of morphine. Lying there like a doll, crying for mummy mummy, but where is she when he needed her the most? Who knows? Burgerking? Or maybe having a great deal meal at Kentucky Fried Chicken?

My brother is still in the dark about Glen’s situation. He will be serving a long term in jail, gnashing his teeth for the pain of the canes, and ponder the world of freedom and love. How is he going to feel when he knows about this pain he’s son is suffering? What if Glen is discharge and is being adopted by someone else? Will he sees his son again? His laughter, his voice, and his kisses, will he be able to hug him while hearing daddy from him again? He will think and worry about these, and later on he will live a few years inside there in vain without having any hope, no point of looking forward to anything because i believe there’s nothing in his life now which is more important then his lovely child. Freedom wouldn’t be enough, trying to keep his spirits up because there’s no point in grieving. Isn’t she heartless?

My brother now needs to spend another additional 3 months for lodging his assaulting. Even she did say she wants to wait for his return, even she already knew that my brother will be serving long years, she still preferred him to rot inside there for another period of time and pursued his charges. No leniency, no compassion, nothing but ambiguous and indecent.

Poor Glen…

I start to understand that whatever things that happens to the adults, the child is always, however, innocent and helpless.My nephew, Glen, is 3 years old this year. He is a brilliant child. A boy that makes everyone around him loves him so much because he is so adorable and amusingly simple-minded. He is tough, he is rough and he likes music and bananas. Every kid is playful i would say, but they were born to be and is harmless always. Chuckles or tears, we would want to share with them.

He was admitted to hospital on 19th Jan Monday night and i was told later on the next day. My mind went frantic when i ask his mother, Kelly what had happened. I felt so deplorably bad to have heard the cause then.

After knowing that Glen was badly scalded by boiling water, i could sensed his pain and the way he will respond to that occurrence. But the reality is, what i had seen with my own eyes could not compare to what i have heard when i visited him yesterday.

I hate to say these but i think i still have to make it right. Last week my brother Benny, was sentenced 5 years to jail. It’s just because of some silly business-like activity that has got him committed. And for that i would also say that it’s his influences and his silliness to have some so-called trusted friends that he had socialized with. And his nice personality has exchanged him the loss of liberty for the next few years.

I am not that closed with my brother after he has got his own family and life. He moved in with them and share their happiness. But my brother would call me up for some times when he quarreled with her. And he will come alone to my place for a stay. He told me what has been going on, as i knew that his wife is averse to work, housework of course, inducing idleness and eats all the time. Messed up the house, and not restricting the child from vandalism on the things that was bought by his hard earned money. And she slept till late afternoon not knowing that the baby needs feeding. This happened at my father’s house before they moved out themselves. My father came back his home in the late afternoon seeing that she’s still sleeping while the baby is crying. So that impression came into my ears as well.

I’ve seen it with my own eyes one morning when i went up to visit my brother at his home. I saw her sitting on the couch with a pack of potato chips on her hand and mouthfull of it, like she’s afraid that i might ask her for some. Watching tv shows while my brother was washing the laundry and cleaning the house. But i thought they were supposed to share them together. Yet later on it turns into pieces of scattered mirrors.

Benny will be home after 10pm for a long working hours from 8am. So he will buy dinner home for his wife every night. He will then get disappointed again after seeing this and that thing has been damaged. Cleared the mess and then sleeps after midnight. So the tolerance limits, accumulates and one day they fought again and my brother had punched her on her nose causing it to fractured. Well, it’s a crime of passion. An emotional body reaction and harshness that broke out. But surely that was filed as a police case. So my brother intended to moved out to live by himself. As he did.

Then days goes by, he got himself into trouble. Without proper guidance and having bad company’s assembling plus perplexity has led him into the path of negative gestures. There’s still a lot of happenings between them then like child custody, divorce attempts and many. I believed my brother was so stressed up as he keeps working each day, takes the last bus service home while missing his son Glen so badly..

As for Kelly, she demanded a sum of money each month for the expenses of the mother and son. More than enough, she would ask my brother to pay for her handphone bill as well. My brother is just too soft-heartened at times. So he will provides whatever that was needed even if she’s asking too much. And i couldn’t care much, as i could only advice him as time goes by.

But for now, at this moment of time, i think i am just useless without going out there to fulfill something that has to be done. Which is the welfare and custody of Glen, i must fight this to win as to protect this child who is innocent, and a victim of a heartless mother…

Why heartless??

Some years later i was able to place a different perspective. As i discovered more of how my mind work, and began to see that i have in my life what i think about, and that i tend to get what my subconsciously expect. That in order to continue to enjoy good fortune, i needed to feel fortunate.It’s imperative that i am thankful for what i have, not only from a spiritual point of view, but also scientifically. The great teachers; Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and others have taught us that we should count our blessings. The wisdom behind it, is our mind actually gravitate toward what we think most. Just like when one is always thinking about the negativities, then he will necessarily attract more of the same. On the conscious level, he will overlook the opportunities. Refused the offers of assistance, and continue to propel into emotional bankruptcy. He will then repel opportunity and attract dramas after another as he sees his world unfold precisely as he anticipated. So it’s like missing out and goes without and create a life in accordance with self belief.

If a person consistently concentrates on what he doesn’t have, he will get less and less of what he wants. So people who have most beautiful things are those who value them very highly.Whose lead active and fulfilling lives are the people who are consistently rejoicing in what life gives them.

It appears that we are socially conditioned to look on the negative side of life. If ten things are going right and one thing wrong, we tend to draw attention to what is wrong. Too many people believe that being realistic and rational is a matter of focusing on faults.

If you are miserable about all the things you want but haven’t got, think about all the things you don’t want and haven’t got as well.

Cos’ there’s a positive side to everything

I saw them in the magazines and television show all the time. But seeing them live face to face on their needlework is the first. Amazing.

I tried to capture the best shot on them. Their techniques and the momentum. Also bought the stuffs that i see in a very reasonable price which most of the items you can’t buy them here. It’s nice to watch them doing the things i had been doing for sometimes and put into practice of the things which i am not aware of.
The buzziness is everywhere. Almost every booth there are people with wise ideas on what they want to have on their body. They paid a price for a piece of lifetime artefact, a man made project. To create a picturesque on their body if every exposure. Like the booth models, all of them has a trademark for show, a mark to present their quality. And for guaranteed assurance as well.

Worth the pain and money, no one will brood over the hardship and bled out. Rather, will be satiable for their beautiful and new body image. The curtain has closed for the show but the ink flows on, whether for custom or personality, traditional or character, the skin engraving still buzz on around the world. Though not into the senses and eyes and hearts of the inarticulate people but it flows with our blood and live on… Even if one can’t live for generations, he will see it as it will flows on and on. Ultimately, tattoo is imperishable.