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Decem (from past to present)

You might pronounce my name in a wrong order, or the name that spells out in your mind could be peculiar, but that’s how people around address me so. Most of them would first ask how on earth did your parents gave such ideas to a name like that. To a more correct form of reference, i should tell you that i was born in DECEMber. Which idea arouse my parents’ mind and obligation later as my reputation.

My life grows as complicating as a morning glory flower, which mops around aimlessly if without the support of a fence or pole. Blooming here and there in a mess but despite its beauty, it will still decays if the enviroment does no need to it . So if without the hands of others, i could be lost. Because i think no man is an island, and i also understands that the only thing that elevates a man from mere existence and drudgery, and sole purpose of living, is the relationship that exist between people.

Man is able to perform a relationship with his kind, to create and share unique experiences and memories with others. Because the love for someone else does not pass away, for it is an indestructible and yet everlasting collection of ones’ life. So to rise above mere, blind biological existence, man needs to create and perfect these bond with one another. As it is how i ‘d learnt to behave like one today.

It’s always a blessing for being a children because when i was younger, i feel that i only absorb myself totally in that present moment. I could manage to stay totally involved in whatever i was doing, whether it be watching a beetle or drawing a picture. But as i turned adult, i realized the art of thinking about and worrying about several things at once. I can allow past problems and future concerns to crowd into my present such that i’d always becomes miserable and ineffective.

I’d also learned to postpone my pleasures and happiness, often developing a notion that sometime in the future everything will be much better than it is now. But the point is i don’t have a guarantee that i will be here tomorrow. And now is all i have got. So my choice is moment by moment, as to whether i really live and absorb and allow myself to be touched and affected. Whenever i am living in the present moment, i drive fear from my mind. Essentially, fear is concern over events which might sometime happen in future. This concern can be paralysing to the point where i find it almost impossible to do anything constructive.

So being inactive will open to intense fear. That’s when i start to take action and do something. And i love what i do, as it is worthwhile remembering that i cannot replace a something with a nothing.